Always on my Mind Read online

  “What’s the matter?”

  “It’s my sister. I’m guessing she just got home and found my note.” With a weary sigh, she answered. “Hey, Peyton…”

  Then she got up and went upstairs.

  It was obvious she needed privacy, but considering there wasn’t a door at the top of the stairs–and Parker wasn’t the quietest talker–he was able to hear a lot of the conversation.

  Her side of it, at least.

  “I wasn’t looking for you to fix me!” she yelled before pausing. “Well, maybe you and Ryder should get hobbies!” Another pause. “I needed a few days to get settled, Peyton! I didn’t need the two of you trying to force me into doing things I had no interest in!”

  Part of him felt like he should find something to do so he wasn’t listening, but…it was a small house and he had a feeling unless he went outside, he was going to hear her.

  “Why can’t you just be supportive, huh? Couldn’t you tell that I was devastated? That my heart was broken? When you left Ryder that time, didn’t I feed you ice cream and just let you take the time you needed until you were okay?” Pause. “Oh, please, I withheld one stinking bowl of ice cream!”

  Were they seriously arguing over ice cream? Was that normal? And what did it have to do with Parker needing a place to stay? As an only child, he never quite understood the sibling dynamic, but even this seemed odd to him.

  “No one was asking you to coddle me!” she went on, louder than a moment ago. “All I’m saying is that it wouldn’t have killed you to let me breathe for a damn week before you both started trying to micromanage me!”

  Now he felt like a voyeur and decided to go and dust the furniture like Parker had suggested.

  Only…he didn’t.

  If anything, he was now at the foot of the stairs and leaning heavily into them to hear even more of her conversation.

  “I know you love me and only want what’s best, but right now, that was giving me a little time. I’ve lost my best friend, my home, my job…” She paused before growling with frustration. “I know I need a job! That’s not what I’m saying…” There was a long silence and he figured her sister was pleading her case and Ethan wished he could hear what she was saying.

  One minute.

  Two.

  Three.

  Obviously the sister is just as chatty as Parker…

  “You know what? This is getting us nowhere. I think we need to just…take a break right now.” He heard her sigh. “I’m fine. I have a place to stay and everything’s good. Let’s touch base next week, okay?”

  At that point, Ethan did finally move away and went into his office and pretended to be busy. If Parker came down and saw him hovering on the stairs, she’d never trust him. And right now, he felt like she needed someone in her corner. Listening to the one-sided conversation told him more about her than he would have imagined. She needed a friend–a person who wasn’t going to try to tell her what to do–and he knew he could be that person.

  There was a soft knock on his office door and he turned and saw her standing there looking defeated. “Everything okay?”

  A mirthless laugh was her first response. “Sorry about that. I know I was pretty loud…”

  “You were fine.” Leaning against his desk, he studied her. “Want to talk about it?”

  “Not really.”

  All he could do was nod.

  After a long moment, she seemed to pull herself together. “How about we go and finish cleaning the living room? Maybe by the time we’re done, the pizza will be here and we can watch some TV while we eat?”

  “That sounds like a plan.”

  “Do you have cable or any streaming services?” she asked as they walked down the hall.

  “I have all of the streaming services,” he told her. “No cable, though. I don’t find it necessary.”

  This time she was the one to nod and after that they worked together to get his living room looking like an actual place people could sit and relax rather than a storeroom for tools and boxes. When the doorbell rang with their dinner, they were both more than ready to collapse on the couch and eat.

  “You find something for us to watch, and I’ll grab drinks, plates, and napkins,” Ethan said as he made his way to the kitchen. Within minutes, they were side by side and helping themselves to a couple of slices. It wasn’t until he looked up at the TV that he realized he’d possibly made a mistake. “Um…what are we watching?”

  “The Bachelor. Why? Don’t you watch reality TV?”

  “I do, just not…this.” Now wasn’t the time to get into his position on how these reality shows weren’t exactly real, so he decided to keep that to himself.

  “Oh, uh…okay. What do you normally watch?”

  “I’m a big fan of Doctor Who and I enjoy catching the latest documentaries on National Geographic.” Even as he said the words, he could tell how bored she was. Maybe it wouldn’t kill him to watch something else once in a while. “But…it’s your first night in the house, so…if this is what you want to watch, we’ll watch it.”

  Her eyes went wide. “Really?”

  He nodded. “Yes. Really.”

  Her smile was big and bright. “Thanks, Ethan. I know it’s silly, but…I needed this. Thank you.”

  So, for the first time in his life, Ethan Harlow sat through several episodes of The Bachelor. It was ridiculous and he had to bite his tongue several dozen times to keep from pointing out how unrealistic the scenarios were, but by the end of episode three, Parker looked completely relaxed and happy. And after everything he’d witnessed about her today, he realized just how much she needed this.

  As crazy as it sounded.

  But what was even crazier was that somehow…so did he.

  Three

  It took a week, but her room was finally done. She’d painted, hung some pictures, found cute curtains to match her new comforter set, and the last of the furniture she’d ordered had been delivered today. Tonight, she’d get to sleep in an actual bed and it was funny how much she was looking forward to it.

  Ethan probably was too because every morning he got up and walked past her on the couch and shook his head. Sure, most of the time he thought she was still sleeping, but she saw it. They were definitely a little like that old movie The Odd Couple–although, she wasn’t sloppy and he wasn’t compulsively neat. However, she was way more laid back than him. Ethan seemed very rigid in just about every aspect of his life. He had a schedule–a routine–that he adhered to and did not like to sway from it.

  And she was making him sway quite a bit.

  Besides their TV likes and dislikes, Parker tended to…live all over the house. When he was home, she liked talking to him. It took a few days for her to realize he preferred a quieter approach to his return home and now she knew to give him an hour before engaging in conversations. They had painted the living room and kitchen over the weekend and all the boxes were finally unpacked as well. They hung pictures and curtains and blinds and other than the seriously outdated kitchen cabinets, the place looked pretty darn good. And now, so did her room.

  Downstairs, she heard him coming through the door and wanted to call down for him to come up and see the finished product, but…she refrained. Instead, she fluffed pillows and smiled at her new TV that her cousin Austin hung for her. She’d thought about asking her brother, but she was still a little hurt about him kicking her out.

  Although…maybe she had been just a little much for them to handle. She did give her nephews cookies when they weren’t allowed to have them, and then there was the dance party when they were supposed to be in bed. But in her defense, she didn’t get to see them very often and she was loving being the fun aunt. She just didn’t realize how disruptive it was to Scarlett and Mason’s schedule or rules. So maybe she’d cut him some slack and give him a call sometime this week.

  Maybe.

  And then there was her sister. This was the longest they’d ever gone without talking to each other. They were always texting and it felt weird not to be sharing this whole part of her life with her.

  But then again…she’d kept a lot of her feelings to herself where Tyler was concerned and look where it had gotten her. Maybe if she’d shared some of it with Peyton, Parker wouldn’t have spiraled so far.

  Groaning, she flopped down on her new bed and willed herself to think of something–anything–else. Confessing her feelings…ugh. She would give everything she had to go back in time and take that moment back. It wouldn’t change what was most important–Tyler was never going to be in love with her and he was always going to marry someone else.

  The strange thing was…looking back…it was hard to say if she was truly in love with him or just loved him like a friend. She knew she loved him, but…as he’d pointed out to her that day, maybe she wasn’t in love. Part of her was seriously leaning to just loving him as a friend, a person, because…well…she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. But now that she was so far removed from the situation and had time to truly come to grips with it all, things didn’t feel quite so intense. Maybe she harbored those feelings for him because he was truly everything to her.

  As a buddy.

  A confidant.

  Never as a lover.

  Hell, there’d never been a time when either of them had even flirted with each other or fooled around. They’d snuggled together while watching TV, and hugged each other a lot, but…there was nothing romantic about any of it.

  “So why did I have to go and open my big mouth?” she whispered with a sigh.

  Because I’m impulsive and stubborn and stupid…

  Yeah. Parker was certain that anyone who knew her would use those exact adjectives to describe her. They fit and they were the reason she was living in a rented room with no frien
ds or family around.

  “They’re probably all wishing I’d never come home.” Tears stung her eyes but she refused to cry again. Things had been good the last several days. Working on the house and her room kept her busy and made her happy. She’d kept a low profile around town because there were so many extended family members around Magnolia–practically one on every corner–and she just needed to settle in before seeing any of them.

  Well, other than Mallory and Austin, but they were the only exceptions.

  Tomorrow she’d start reaching out and reconnecting and go on the big apology tour with her siblings.

  “I should probably stop and see Mrs. Henderson first and get as much cake as possible to help me beg for forgiveness.” It was pretty much a proven fact that no one could stay mad at you if you showed up with a pink box from Henderson’s Bakery, and considering how much groveling she needed to do, she was going to need all the help she could get.

  Her mind wandered to what kind of cake she was going to get when she heard…

  “Parker? You up there?”

  Ah…so Ethan was going to be the one to break the silence first tonight, she thought, and it made her smile.

  “Yup! Come see what I did today!”

  His sigh was loud enough that she heard it, but she didn’t hold it against him. After all, she’d been touching pretty much everything in his home and turning his quiet and boring world a little sideways so he was entitled to a little sighing.

  “What did you…?” He paused at the top of the stairs and took it all in. “Hey, the rest of your furniture came.”

  Nodding, she jumped off the bed. “It did, and if I do say so myself, it all fits really well.” After painting the room aqua, she opted for white furniture and white window treatments to brighten things up. She’d hung a heavier, room-darkening type of curtain at the top of the stairs that was currently tied back so it would offer her a little privacy if she needed it. She also now had low bookcases, a dresser, a bedside table, and pretty crystal lamp. The room was very feminine and she loved it.

  “Is that a…bean bag chair?”

  Grinning, Parker walked over to what was possibly her favorite piece of furniture. “Sort of. It has all the makings of one, but it has more of a structured back and arms so it’s really a chair.”

  “Made out of beans,” he reasoned.

  She shrugged before sitting down on it. “I don’t care what it’s made out of because it’s so comfortable.”

  He didn’t look the least bit convinced.

  “Oh, and go check out the bathroom!” she told him as she stood up. “I know we didn’t talk about doing any work in there, but…”

  “What in the world, Parker? How did you manage this?”

  Sidling up beside him in the doorway, she looked at the slightly remodeled space. “Like I said, I know we didn’t talk about it, but when my cousin Austin came by to hang the TV, I was telling him how much the bathroom kind of bummed me out and he offered to freshen some things up.”

  Actually, he’d offered to change out the faucet on the sink and then ended up changing out the vanity, installed some new hardware, a new mirror, and a new light fixture.

  “This had to have cost you a fortune,” Ethan said solemnly. “I really wish you would have talked to me about this. It wasn’t in my budget to do this.”

  Parker waved him off. “Ethan, please. This was my idea and I don’t expect you to pay for it. Besides, Austin’s in the construction field and used his contractor discount.” Then she shrugged. “I didn’t go overboard on anything, but you have to admit that it looks great, right?”

  “Parker…”

  “What?” she asked wearily. “It’s not costing you anything and I just helped put value into this investment of yours, so why not just say thank you and move on?”

  Then she waited for him to come back at her with some sort of logical argument, but…it never came. Instead, he looked at her and smiled. “You’re right. This looks great and I appreciate it, so…thank you.”

  Looping her arm through his, she gave him her most endearing smile. “See? That wasn’t so hard, right?” And before he could say her name with exasperation again, she quickly changed the subject. “I was going to order some celebratory Chinese takeout for dinner. Care to join me?” It was sort of becoming a thing with to eat dinner together. Ethan had worked late two nights, but other than that, they ate together. And Parker had to admit, it was nice not eating alone.

  “I wish I could, but…I’ve got a date,” he said, not making eye contact with her.

  Slowly, she put a little space between them. “Oh, well…good for you! I won’t keep you. I’m sure you’ve got things to do to get ready.”

  “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  It wasn’t what she was expecting him to say and it definitely piqued her interest. Walking back over to her comfy chair, she sat down. “Okay. What’s up?”

  Looking wildly uncomfortable, Ethan slowly roamed around her room for a bit before saying anything. “So, um…this is a first date and other than dinner, I’m not sure what else there is to do. I thought maybe you might have some suggestions.”

  Wow. Dating advice. That was…unexpected.

  Parker hadn’t had a steady boyfriend in a long time–and not because of the whole Tyler situation–but because she had a group of friends who always did everything together. So thinking about what to do on a first date wasn’t exactly her strong point either. Although…she supposed she could simply draw on what she would like to do on a first date, couldn’t she?

  “Well, I guess it depends on your date. Tell me a little about her.”

  Ethan’s cheeks flushed slightly and he fidgeted with his glasses. “Um…she’s also a professor. She teaches British Literature and has a master’s degree. She enjoys foreign films, but I don’t think there’s anywhere here in Magnolia to see one, and she’s allergic to shellfish.”

  It was hard to envision this woman being even a little fun, so all her thoughts of doing dinner and playing putt-putt golf went right out the window. “What does she do for fun?”

  “Like I said, she enjoys foreign films.” He paused. “Would it be awkward to invite her back here to watch one?” Another pause. “Actually, she mentioned going back to her place and doing that so…maybe I’m overthinking this?”

  “Maybe?” she said slowly. “Going back to her place isn’t that big of a deal, but it’s your first date and…”

  “And what?”

  “I don’t know, Ethan. I would never ask a guy back to my place on the first date. And if I did, it would only be about sex.”

  His eyes went wide and if anything, his whole face turned red.

  Parker immediately jumped up and tried to put his mind at ease. “I’m sure that’s not what your date is doing. I mean…unless that’s what you want her to do. Do British Lit professors do that sort of thing? Aren’t they a little primmer and reserved?” Then she let out an awkward laugh. “Although, how would I know, huh? I barely passed any of my lit classes in high school and couldn’t handle college, so for all I know, this woman could be completely cool and flirty!”

  If anything, he looked even more appalled.

  “Unless…she’s not and that’s totally okay too!” she rambled on, hating herself more and more by the second. “So, um…maybe dinner and a movie? You know, a regular one that’s not at anyone’s house?”

  “I…I think I’ll just go and get ready. Um…thanks.” And he turned and quickly went down the stairs.

  “Ugh, what is wrong with me?” Parker wondered out loud, sitting back down. Granted, she didn’t have the most exciting dating history, but she’d never just flat out blathered on so awkwardly in her entire life!

  Still, she was a little envious of his night out. Maybe it was time for her to start reconnecting with old friends and maybe getting herself a date or two. It could be exactly what she needed to get back into the swing of things and make her feel a little more at home now that she was…well…home.

  So, besides visiting her siblings and making things right, now she was adding reaching out to friends too. It was all so easy and yet complicated at the same time. There were going to be so many questions about what brought her back to Magnolia and, of course, everyone who knew her knew she and Ty were always inseparable so she was going to have to talk about that whole debacle without going too deep into detail.