Always on my Mind Read online

  “Well…crap.” All the years of house-sitting meant there’d never been a reason for her to own any furniture. And whenever she came back to Magnolia to visit, she stayed with other people. “Why couldn’t Peyton just hold onto that damn bungalow for me?”

  “Everything okay?” Ethan asked as he came to the top of the stairs. “I know it’s not much, but hopefully your furniture will fit.”

  “Funny story,” she began, the nervous laugh out before she could stop it. “I don’t have any furniture. Yet.”

  He stared at her as if she’d lost her mind. “How is that even possible, Parker?”

  “I already explained that to you!” she snapped defensively. “I’ve been house-sitting! I never needed furniture of my own!”

  Ethan looked around the room before focusing on her again, and his silence spoke volumes.

  “Look, my cousin Mallory owns a décor shop in town so…I’ll just go there and order some stuff. Or I can probably order some pieces online if she doesn’t have what I’m looking for. It’s not a big deal.”

  “You’ll be sleeping on the floor…”

  “So?” she snapped again, hating how foolish she felt. “It’s not like anyone’s asking you to do it! I’ve slept on plenty of floors and I can handle it for a few nights!”

  Pinching the bridge of his nose, Ethan seemed to be trying really hard to hold on to his patience with her.

  Sadly, she got that reaction from people more often than not.

  “This is one of the reasons I was looking for a specific roommate,” he finally said after a long moment. “I don’t want to dread having conversations with you because you’re easily defensive.”

  “I wouldn’t say I’m easily defensive…”

  “Parker, all I did was comment on how you’d be sleeping on the floor and you nearly bit my head off.”

  He had a point, but that didn’t mean it was going to apply to every conversation. “It’s been an emotional couple of weeks, Ethan. Cut me some slack, okay? I swear once I’m in and settled, you won’t have to walk on eggshells with me. I promise.”

  “I don’t know,” he said warily. “Maybe this just isn’t a good fit. Shelby said you could crash at her place, didn’t she?”

  It was crazy how easily she was crying these days, but after losing Tyler and being tossed around from house to house and now having someone who was basically a stranger already giving up on her just made her crumble. Before she knew it, she was sitting on the floor with her face in her hands and bawling like a baby.

  In the distance, she heard Ethan groan. “This isn’t going to work,” he said with a hint of firmness. “Maybe you’re used to manipulating people by crying, but I’m not going to be swayed and I find it insulting that you’re even trying.” He let out a long breath. “I think you should go.”

  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him head back down the stairs and she clumsily got to her feet to go after him. “You think I’m crying to get my way?” she shouted as she ran down the stairs.

  “You admitted to doing it earlier back at the library,” he countered.

  Swiping away the tears, she went and crowded him until they were toe to toe. “Yeah, I might have tried that earlier, but that wasn’t what was happening right now. It suddenly hit me how…how no one wants me!” Flinging her arms out in exasperation, she moved away from him. “Do you have any idea what that’s like? To know that no one–not even the people who claim to love you–actually wants you around?”

  “Um…”

  “And then to have a total stranger trying to shove me out the door was just the last straw for me and I…I hit my limit!”

  “I wouldn’t say we were total strangers…”

  She growled with frustration. “I get it, Ethan! I get it! I’m an emotional mess right now and I’m a lot to handle. I swear this isn’t who I am normally.” Her shoulders sagged as she faced him. “The thing is, I really need this. I need a place to stay. A place where I can regroup and get my shit together. Please. Please just give me a chance. You won’t regret it. I promise.”

  She loathed begging and hated how she was pretty much at rock-bottom here, but hopefully he’d take pity on her and give her a roof over her head until she truly figured out how to reclaim her life.

  It was possible she was being overly dramatic, but it was crazy just how overwhelmed she felt right now. It seemed like all the things that had gone on for the last two weeks had finally caught up with her. If Ethan truly forced her to leave, she knew she’d go, but beyond that, she had no idea where she’d actually land. Sure, there was Sam and Shelby’s, but it would be another temporary spot for a couple of nights and she was just so damn tired.

  If she had a bed, she had no doubt that she’d sleep for a week.

  Ethan looked at his watch and sighed. “I have a class in an hour and I need to go.” Then he looked at her. “Don’t make me regret this, Parker. I know we have a lot to talk about and you don’t even know how much the rent is…”

  “It was on the flyer,” she said, careful not to get her hopes up. “I can give you two months’ rent right now and sign whatever you need me to sign.”

  “Damn. I don’t have any kind of lease ready. I didn’t think I’d have any takers this soon.”

  That made her smile because she had a feeling Ethan was always prepared. “How about this–let me give you the rent money so you can go to class. While you’re gone, I’ll make arrangements for some furniture and maybe…” Pausing, she glanced around. “Maybe I’ll get this place organized a bit more.”

  “You don’t need to do that. I’m more than capable of getting the rest of my stuff unpacked and put away.” The statement didn’t come out overly confident, but he seemed resigned to their arrangement. Walking into the kitchen, Ethan pulled an envelope out of one of the drawers before walking back to the living room and handing it to her. “Here.”

  “What’s this?”

  “The keys.” Then he shrugged. “This way you can go into town and maybe see your cousin and then you can come back in without having to wait for me.”

  Her smile refused to be subdued but she didn’t attempt to hug him again. “Thank you, Ethan. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

  All he did was nod before turning and walking out the front door.

  Parker walked over to the front window and watched as he drove away. As soon as his car was out of sight, she let out the loudest, most excited scream she could muster while doing a little dance. After several minutes, she calmed herself down and collapsed on the covered sofa and took in her new surroundings.

  It wasn’t like this was anything new; she’d been living in other people’s homes for years. This was the first time, however, that she had the opportunity to make at least part of the space her own and put her own stamp on it.

  And boy did this place need a stamp.

  A fresh coat of paint was a necessity all around. Getting to her feet, Parker couldn’t help but walk around and truly check out the house.

  Including Ethan’s bedroom.

  The door was open so she didn’t feel like she was really snooping.

  Even though…she kind of was.

  The walls were painted a pale gray, the trim was bright white, and the bedding was navy blue. Everything looked new and clean and it didn’t take long for her to realize this was the one room he actually did work on.

  “Good for him,” she said as she walked to his en suite and checked it out. It all looked newly renovated as well–new tiled shower, new vanity, and if she had to guess, she’d say the tile floor was heated. That’s when she realized she never got the chance to look at her own bathroom and headed up the stairs.

  And wished she hadn’t.

  This bathroom–though spacious–was definitely not newly renovated. It was old and dated and she wasn’t sure if a coat of paint would even help.

  “That just means I’ll have to get creative with my décor,” she assured herself as excitement started to take ove
r. The last time she had free rein to decorate, she’d been sixteen and her mother had finally agreed to let her change her room from bubble gum pink to something a little more grown up.

  Running down the stairs, she grabbed her purse and pulled out her phone and immediately raced back up the stairs to take some pictures. Hopefully once Mallory saw what kind of space Parker was working with, she’d have some ideas about what kind of furniture she should get.

  Twenty minutes later, she was back in her car and heading into town.

  And unlike her earlier cruise around Magnolia, this time she was full of hope.

  “Class dismissed.”

  For several minutes, Ethan watched his students walk out of the massive classroom and, as usual, not one of them made eye contact with him or even said goodbye. It shouldn’t bother him, but…it did. Several members of the faculty commented on how friendly their students were and how sometimes they had to force them to leave after class, even though they were having great conversations.

  Ethan had never experienced anything even remotely close to that.

  Then again, he knew his strengths and weaknesses and that he was an almost painful introvert. Striking up conversations with people was not his strong suit and for the most part, he was okay with it. But for some reason, today it stung.

  And if he had to hazard a guess, he’d say it had something to do with his new roommate.

  What the hell was I thinking?

  That question had been playing on a continuous loop in his head ever since he walked out of his house earlier.

  It had been years since he’d thought about Parker Bishop. Sure, they’d gone to school together, but they certainly didn’t hang out in the same circles and they’d never been friends. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if they’d ever spoken two words to each other. His memory of her was the girl who was always laughing and smiling and seemed to be friends with everyone.

  Except him.

  For the most part, Ethan was okay with who he was and his ridiculously small circle of friends. It was comfortable for him. Still, after spending so many years being the socially awkward outcast, he thought he’d started to outgrow it. College had been good for him–mainly because he met people who were a lot more like him than any of his high school classmates had been.

  Then he’d foolishly returned to Magnolia Sound because his father’s health was failing and simply took the job at the community college for the sake of convenience. Unfortunately, a lot of his students were like his old high school nemeses and it was more than a little intimidating for him. It seemed absurd to still feel insecure at this point in his life and career, but apparently some things simply took longer to outgrow. What he would give to have the confidence of someone like Parker–to be able to step into any situation and feel like you had the upper hand simply because you had tenacity.

  Once the hall had emptied, Ethan packed up his satchel and headed out to his office. He shared it with two other professors, but at this time of day he knew he’d have it to himself. There were papers to grade and lesson plans to work on, but as soon as he sat down, the only thing he was able to think about was Parker.

  Maybe…maybe having her as a roommate wouldn’t be such a terrible thing. Perhaps she could help him figure out how to be more comfortable in front of his class or how to just relax enough to engage with them even a little bit.

  It wasn’t his worst idea.

  He just had no clue how he’d broach the subject with her without coming off like a total loser.

  For more than an hour, he tried to focus on his work, but eventually gave up. It had been four hours since he’d left home and he knew there were plenty of things for him to do there to keep him busy. Having a roommate gave him that little push he needed to motivate him to get some of the renovation projects done. As much as he appreciated Parker’s willingness to help with the painting, he had a feeling it would be better for him to do it himself. She could focus on the upstairs and the space that would be hers, but he felt responsible for all the other common areas. While home decorating wasn’t exactly his thing, he wasn’t trying to win any awards with it either. As long as the walls had a fresh coat of paint and his furniture wasn’t too worn, he’d be happy.

  When he pulled into his driveway a little later, Parker’s car was there and he took a minute to compose himself. If Jeff had moved in, Ethan knew he’d be able to come home each day without having to engage in conversation until he was ready. He had a feeling Parker would be chatty from the moment he walked through the door.

  “This is definitely out of my comfort zone,” he muttered, but forced himself to face the challenge.

  But when he walked into the house, Parker was nowhere in sight. The sound of music playing told him she was upstairs, and he warred with himself for several minutes whether he should go up and say hello.

  He put his satchel down in his bedroom and kicked off his shoes and basically puttered around for several minutes before curiosity got the better of him. Walking up the stairs, he found her singing softly to a song he’d never heard before while she painted over the orange walls. She’d chosen a shade of aquamarine and moved around with no real method to her painting–something that made him cringe slightly–but half the room was already covered, so perhaps it wasn’t such a bad thing. It wasn’t until she needed to refresh the paint on her roller that she spotted him.

  “Oh, hey! How was class?” she asked with a big smile before lowering the music.

  “It was fine,” he replied. “I can’t believe you accomplished so much already.”

  Looking at him over her shoulder as she began rolling out the paint, she smiled again. “Well, the orange was a little loud for me and I knew if I had a color I liked on the walls that it would make it easier for me to decorate and furnish up here.”

  That made sense. “Did you go to your cousin’s shop?”

  “I did! Mallory was a great help but a lot of what she had was a little out of my budget. I did buy a few small things that will get delivered this weekend.” She shrugged. “So I ordered a mattress online and it should be here in a few days too. I don’t mind living out of my suitcases for a bit. I did pick up a couple of pillows and a comforter set so I can camp out up here.”

  The thought of her sleeping on the floor definitely bothered him. “Why don’t you at least sleep on the couch?” he suggested. “I was planning on working on the living room tonight so hopefully it won’t be too cluttered for you and at least you’ll be a little more comfortable.” Then he remembered her conversation with Shelby. “Plus, no kids or dogs will be jumping around on or near you, so…”

  She laughed.

  A genuine, lyrical laugh.

  “Ah, so you heard that part of my conversation, huh?” Then she laughed again. “Don’t get me wrong, I am beyond grateful that she and Sam were willing to let me crash with them, but considering my own brother asked me to leave because he claimed I got my nephews too riled up, I’m pretty sure my cousin would have felt the same way. And no one wants to continually be asked to vacate the premises, right?”

  The fact that he’d essentially asked her to do that very thing earlier had him awash with guilt. There wasn’t anything he could say that wouldn’t make him sound trite, so he simply nodded.

  “But yeah, I will gladly take you up on the sofa thing if you’re sure you’re okay with it.”

  “I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t,” he told her.

  “Well…why don’t you go and do your thing while I finish up here?” She paused while reaching up to paint above one of the windows. “I was thinking of ordering a pizza for dinner if you’d like to share.”

  That…was something he hadn’t considered either. Not that he thought they were going to be eating together every night, but he supposed it was bound to happen. “Uh…sure. That would be great. Thanks.”

  The music started up again and he figured that was his cue to head down and begin tackling the boxes that were scattered all over the living room.
Most of them were filled with books for his home office–and were mostly just for show–but it seemed silly to keep putting off unpacking them.

  So for the next hour, he moved what felt like hundreds of books into the third bedroom, which he’d turned into his office. The bookcases were assembled several weeks ago, but now that the books were on them, the room was finally starting to feel like a space he could work in. It was the only room in the house that he didn’t need to paint. Three of the four walls were covered in shiplap and the fourth wall was painted in a dark hunter green. Maybe at some point he’d change that, but it worked for now.

  Out in the living room, he cut down all the boxes he’d emptied and took them out to the recycling pail. When he came back inside, he couldn’t help but smile because the room looked bigger already.

  “Wow, look at that!” Parker said as she came down the stairs. “You made some great progress! Good for you!”

  Just as he remembered, she was the girl who was always smiling.

  Okay, not always. It seemed like he genuinely caught her on a bad day with all the crying earlier, but the woman walking toward him definitely reminded him of the girl he went to school with.

  “I know there’s still a lot more to do, but I feel like I made a pretty decent dent in it,” he commented as he looked around with pride. “I think if I move the tools to one designated spot and fold up the drop cloths until I’m ready, this room will almost look livable.”

  “As soon as you do, I am definitely running the vacuum. And then we’ll dust off the rest of the furniture and it will start to feel a little homey. Won’t that be nice?”

  All Ethan could do was nod.

  They worked together for another hour before Parker collapsed on the couch and pulled out her phone. “Any preferences for pizza toppings?” she asked around a yawn.

  “I’m good with whatever you’re getting. I’m just glad I don’t have to cook.”

  “Me too. I don’t think I could even heat up a can of soup right now,” she joked before turning her attention to placing their dinner order. When she hung up, she told him it would be thirty minutes before it was delivered and was about to say something else when her phone rang. “Oh no…”