Exclusive / a Touch of Heaven Read online

  Mike cleared his throat to regain Taylor’s attention. “You okay?”

  Embarrassed and feeling the heated blush flood her body—again!—she nodded. “Where’s he at now?” Curiosity got the best of her.

  Mike looked away, clearly uncomfortable with what he was going to say. “Ed was killed in a car accident about a year ago.” His words were deep and low and full of emotion. Taylor reached out and put a hand over his for comfort.

  “I’m so sorry, Mike. I know you guys were close.”

  “The thing is, Taylor, for a long time I thought we were. But now, I look back on all the years we knew each other, Ed and I, and realize that I never knew him at all.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “For starters, there’s you.”

  “Me?” she squeaked.

  He nodded. “Eddie was crazy about you. He’d talk about you so damn much that the rest of us guys wanted to clobber him. It was always ‘Taylor this’ or ‘Taylor that.’” Mike turned Taylor’s hand in his. “I used to envy him for what he’d found with you. He was so confident of the future the two of you were planning. He wouldn’t even introduce any of us to you until you had been dating for about six months. I guess he was afraid we’d hit on you or something,” he said with a wink and was relieved when Taylor smiled.

  “I didn’t realize that,” she said. “I mean, that he had waited to introduce us.”

  “I thought surely he was exaggerating where you were concerned, but after meeting you, I knew he hadn’t even begun to do you justice.”

  Taylor looked away again, feeling her heart beating too fast.

  “Toward the end of that summer, we were all at that party at the Robert Moses beach. Do you remember?” His voice softened and Taylor had trouble meeting his gaze. She knew where this memory was going. “I saw Ed off talking to some girl and you were sitting all alone by the fire. You looked so sad.” Mike released Taylor’s hand and took another drink of his beer. “I came over to sit by you and we talked for a long time.”

  She nodded. “You were very nice to me, Mike,” she said, studying his face.

  “The thing is, Taylor, you were nice to me.”

  Confusion covered her face. “I don’t understand.”

  “Everyone knew I had a pretty wild past and not many people wanted me around. I had been arrested a couple of times, done time in juvie—hell, I was a mess. I used to hear people refer to me as ‘the criminal.’ You never did that.” His eyes bored into hers. “That meant a lot to me.”

  “The way I saw it, there was no reason to bring it up. You were trying to get your life back on track and you weren’t hurting anyone. And besides, everyone deserves a second chance.” It was true. Taylor hated the way her friends had treated Mike back then. It had shamed her even to associate with some of them. They seemed to tolerate him for Eddie’s sake, but the truth was that none of them wanted Mike around. She had argued with them over it more than once. Taylor had always tried to look for the best in people, and in her opinion, at the time Mike started coming around, he was a totally nice guy—he was funny and genuine, and he owned his mistakes. Unfortunately, she was in the minority with her feelings. The memory made her angry, but another came to mind that made her chuckle.

  “What’s so funny?” he asked, thoroughly confused considering the topic they had just been discussing.

  Trying to maintain her composure, Taylor looked at him. “Do you know, to this day I still think about one of the most offensive lines you ever said to me?”

  “Offensive? What did I say to offend you?” He was unaware of ever doing that and he racked his brain for what he could have said.

  “When we were sitting by the fire, I noticed a tattoo of a cross on your arm and said it looked nice.” She looked at him a little closer to see if he remembered, but clearly he didn’t. “You looked me right in the eye and said, ‘Got it in prison. Still think it’s nice?’”

  “I did not say that!”

  She nodded. “Oh, yes you did,” she said with a smile. “Believe me. There is no way I could possibly make up something like that.”

  And then he did remember and instantly sobered. “I was trying to scare you off.”

  “Why?”

  “Ed was my best friend, and yet the more I got to know you, the more I wanted to get to know you. It wasn’t right. I felt guilty.”

  “And right after you said that you leaned over and—”

  “I kissed you.” His voice was thick and deep and sexy.

  “Yes, you did,” she admitted shyly.

  “I would have kissed you more, but there was a crowd.”

  For just a moment, Taylor allowed herself to get lost in his eyes and the memory of what the kiss had been like. “Well.” She cleared her throat. “It was a long time ago.”

  Mike saw the hint of promise in her eyes, but it was gone in an instant. “What I was getting to was, well, I never did understand how Eddie was crazy enough to let you go. He had it all and he blew it for a quickie with someone he had no interest in. It just never made any sense to me.”

  A bit of the anger Taylor normally felt when she thought about that time in her life was right there. “I never understood it either,” she said tersely. “I guess I just wasn’t enough for him.” She gave a mirthless laugh. “That’s what I got for trying to be rebellious and dating the guy everyone warned me about. Guess I should have listened.” She played around with her silverware, her drink, her plate…anything to keep from having to look at Mike and see the pity in his eyes. She had seen it enough in everyone else’s over the years.

  “I hated him for doing that to you,” he said to break the silence.

  “Me too.” Her voice was small and she still couldn’t look at him. It wasn’t easy sitting here talking about the biggest failure in her life.

  “That night at the beach, after he drove you home, he came to my house and we talked.” Now she did look up. “We were shooting the breeze, nothing major, but he kept bringing you up in conversation. Things like, ‘Did you know Taylor likes this?’ or, ‘Taylor and I are planning that.’” Mike took a deep breath. “I think he saw me kiss you and he was reminding me who you belonged to. Then he went on to talk about my screwed-up life.” His gaze was fixed on hers. “It was his way of telling me to back off because I wasn’t good enough for someone like you. I didn’t get invited around much after that.”

  “I wondered what had happened to you.”

  “After the two of you broke up, he made sure I was with him at all times,” he said with a hint of sadness. “I saw him more in those first few months after your breakup than I had in years. He practically lived with me. I think he felt that if I wasn’t hanging out with him, I’d be out looking for you.”

  Taylor went still at his words, afraid to breathe, afraid to blink. What was he saying? That he had been interested in her back then and Eddie had prevented it from happening? Mike saw the questioning in her eyes and answered it. “I would have,” he said softly.

  “I never knew,” she said, her voice barely audible.

  “How could you? You were in love with Ed, and then when the two of you broke up,” he said with a shrug, “I figured I was the last guy you wanted to see. Besides him.”

  “I…I don’t know what to say, Mike.”

  He gave her a sad smile. “I didn’t think you knew or anything, but…there it is.” He finished his beer. “I found out about your writing purely by chance. I’m addicted to the news and current events. Weird, right?” Taylor smiled and nodded. “I saw one of your articles in Newslink on the closing of some of the area’s libraries and—first, I was impressed with your writing, but then I realized how long it had been since I’d seen you.”

  “You obviously knew where I worked. Why didn’t you reach out?” It wasn’t an accusation; she just wanted to know why he waited so long to get in touch with her
.

  He shrugged again. “I had no idea what else was going on in your life. I didn’t want to disrupt it and bring back memories I was sure you’d rather forget.”

  While she understood his reasoning, she wished he had opted to be less reasonable. “I would have loved to hear from you. All things considered, I still thought you and I were friends. I missed seeing you. Even after things happened the way they did with Ed, I still thought about you and missed talking to you.”

  “I never knew,” he said, repeating her earlier words. There didn’t seem much more to say.

  “I’m sad to think he’s gone, that he’s got children who are never going to see their father again, but I can’t say I’m surprised. He always seemed to live on the edge a little too much for my liking.”

  He chuckled. “I used to wonder how such a sweet girl like you ended up with someone like him.”

  “Unfortunately, I’m your typical cliché. There’s something about bad boys that makes girls want to change them.” She sighed. “I truly thought it was going to happen.”

  “If it counts for anything, I think Ed always regretted messing up with you.”

  “Thanks,” she said, her voice distant and quiet. To distract herself, she stood up and began to clear the table.

  “Didn’t we already go over this?” he asked as he stood to join her. “You’re a guest here and you don’t have to help with things like this.”

  She waved him off. “It makes me feel good to help. You’ve done nothing but listen to me talk all day and show me around and I get to stay in this beautiful house—it doesn’t feel like work. Trust me when I tell you that I’m normally not a fan of housework of any kind, but helping around here makes me feel good. I feel…useful.” She avoided his gaze as she gathered their dishes from the table and took them to the sink.

  For a moment, Mike could only stare. Did she have any idea how incredible she was, how amazing? But he could still see the scars Ed had put on her and he hated it. Over the years, Mike had remembered Taylor as the girl with the big smile and bright eyes who was full of laughter and confidence. The woman in the kitchen now had a bit of an edge to her—and a defensive wall around her that hadn’t been there before. It wasn’t right to curse the dead, but in that moment, he did.

  Glancing at the clock, Mike realized that he wasn’t ready to part with Taylor for the evening. “I know we just finished eating, but I’m hoping you’ll want to have dessert.” He walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out a covered dish. “It’s an Oreo pie.”

  Taylor’s eyes went wide with delight. “Shut up!” she said even as she laughed. “Tell me you did not make that yourself!”

  He had the good sense to look bashful. “Hey, when you’re a bachelor, you learn to do these things for yourself, otherwise you’d go broke eating out and getting takeout all the time. It’s not a big deal—it’s a mix. Really, it’s nothing.”

  Taylor thought he was possibly the most adorable man alive. No, that wasn’t true—adorable was too mild a term. He was handsome and smart and sexy. And the fact that he could cook and make an Oreo pie tipped the scales.

  “I know I shouldn’t, but you’ve found my weak spot. I can’t say no to an Oreo pie.” She threw down the dishtowel she had been holding, suddenly feeling ashamed at her admission, when she remembered something. “Wait a minute. Did you…?” She shook her head in disbelief.

  “Did I remember that Oreos were one of your favorite snacks?” he asked with a lopsided grin. “Absolutely.”

  A million questions ran through Taylor’s mind. Too many coincidences, too many revelations. And if it weren’t for the Oreo pie sitting there looking too delicious for words, she would excuse herself and go up to her room to think about everything she had learned that night. “Well, that was pretty darn sweet of you,” she said instead. In one smooth move, Taylor turned and opened the cabinet to get two plates. It wasn’t until she placed them on the table that she noticed the odd expression on Mike’s face and realized what she’d done. She had never seen Mike set the table or where anything was in the kitchen, but it was like she somehow…knew where to find them.

  What could she say? There was no explanation for how at home she felt—so she brought their attention back to the pie. “Can we eat it out on the porch?” she asked, her eyes bright, her expression hopeful.

  “Uh…it’s kind of chilly out, Taylor. It’s a lot colder up here than it is in New York.”

  “Then I’ll grab a sweater,” she said. “Please? From the minute I drove through the trees today I’ve thought about sitting on that porch. Of course, I had pictured watching the sunset or sunrise, but being out there in the quiet would be a perfect way to end the day. Can we?”

  He couldn’t say no to her. Even though he had thought to take their dessert into the den and light a fire in the large hearth, he supposed there was something to be said for sitting outside in the cold.

  At night.

  While trying not to freeze.

  * * *

  Within ten minutes, Taylor realized Mike was right. It was freezing. And pitch black. Oh, and freezing. Doing her best to keep her teeth from chattering, she had nearly inhaled her slice of pie and noticed Mike doing the same. When they both finished, Mike took their plates and set them down next to the porch swing. As much as she wanted to swing, the thought of propelling back and forth—even slowly—in the cool night air was too much for her.

  “Okay,” she said. “Lesson learned. You definitely know more about how cold it gets than I do and I’m ready to admit defeat.”

  Beside her, he chuckled. “It’s not so bad,” he said as he moved closer and put an arm around her, pulling her nearer. “I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to have feeling in my fingers.” Together they laughed and Taylor playfully elbowed him in the ribs. “Ouch!”

  “I should have listened, but all I could think about was getting to sit out here.” She looked at him. “Any chance of the weather warming up this week?”

  He shook his head. “Some, but not by much. But there’s a great fire pit out back. Maybe tomorrow night we’ll sit by the fire.”

  “That would be nice,” she said as she settled against him. And then she realized that this right here was also nice. Mike’s body was shielding hers from some of the wind and he was very warm—despite what he had said. She rested her head on his shoulder, feeling at peace.

  As if reading her mind, Mike said, “This is nice.” Startled by how in sync they were becoming, Taylor lifted her head and looked at him. Though it was dark all around them, she could see his face across from hers. “What’s the matter?” he asked.

  Everything. Nothing. Past and present were swirling together in her brain and the only thing that stood out was how she wanted to experience that one moment in time with him again. That one moment when he had kissed her more thoroughly than any man ever had before—or since. She wanted to know what it would feel like to have him kiss her when nobody was watching.

  Taylor wasn’t sure she should initiate a kiss. What if everything he had said was how he felt years ago but not anymore? Would she be able to handle the rejection and continue to work with him all week? Indecision warred within her until she felt Mike’s hand gently cup the back of her head.

  “Let me help you make that decision,” he said in a deep, husky voice.

  And then he kissed her.

  Chapter 5

  Yes, she’d been in a dating dry spell.

  And yes, she’d said it wasn’t a big deal.

  And yes, she was lying to herself.

  This kiss, this searing-hot kiss was like nothing she had ever experienced. Liar. Once, with Mike, but it was clear he had learned some things since then.

  Mike took Taylor’s face in his hands. His skin was warm and rough, his touch gentle.

  It didn’t take long for Taylor’s tongue to deliciously dance with h
is. She edged closer and the swing swayed a bit, causing Taylor to reach out and curl her fingers in his shirt. His kiss grew more and more urgent. It wasn’t hard for her to keep up—she wanted this kiss more than her next breath. And it was exciting to feel this wanted—this needed—as if he couldn’t breathe without her.

  She wanted to ask him if they could go up to her bedroom—anywhere—so that they could be closer. Taylor hadn’t realized how badly she missed the feeling of a man’s body pressed against hers until now. She was about to say so when Mike abruptly pulled away. His breath was ragged as he rested his forehead against hers, his hands still cupping her face.

  “Mike,” she panted, but didn’t get to finish.

  “I’m not sorry for that, Taylor, but I also know this isn’t the reason you’re here.” Without warning, he removed his hands and stood. Even in the darkness, she could see the conflict within him. His eyes were dark and stormy and his breathing still hadn’t settled. “Good night,” he said and walked off of the porch until he was swallowed by the darkness of the field.

  For a minute she sat there, speechless. What had happened? One minute she was ready to ask him to make love to her and now she was sitting alone on a porch swing. Taylor got off the swing, though her legs weren’t completely stable, and tried to see if she could spot him from where she stood. But she couldn’t.

  “So much for the audience being the reason he wouldn’t kiss me for longer,” she muttered and walked dejectedly into the house. Earlier in the day she had wanted to explore it—but right now she wanted to see her room. And close the door. And wallow.

  Which was what she did as soon as her door was closed. The room she had marveled at earlier now seemed to mock her. She fell backward onto the bed and threw her arm over her face to block out some of the light, mocking herself. “What an eventful day you’ve had. Fly to Maine, drive a new car, tour a farm, start the article that is supposed to launch your career, and get kissed by a man you haven’t seen since you were eighteen.” Yup. Eventful. And what sucked the most was that Mike’s kiss had excited her more than it had ten years ago. Tonight’s kiss definitely had an edge—a promise—and yet here she was in bed alone.