The I Do Over Read online

  It would have been easy for him to simply tell her where his office was or suggest that she wait for him out in the gym, but he was curious to see what she was going to do. The fact that she not only walked into the men’s locker room but also practically made it into the shower room said that she was determined. But now that the initial shock of seeing each other was over, would she choose to step outside or stay close?

  Peering out from behind a row of lockers, he saw her sit in one of the large leather chairs they kept in a seating area.

  Okay…she’s staying close.

  Knox walked over to his locker and inwardly groaned. Now that she wasn’t watching him, he could actually take a minute and freak out. Seeing her standing there was a complete shock. Every once in a while, he would let himself imagine what it would be like if they were still together. When he and Daniel and Xander bought this place, he remembered sitting in the middle of the empty space and wondering what she would think of it. It was foolish and he would never admit it to anyone, but…there it was.

  But the weirdest part—maybe—was how she still looked the same. Well, not exactly the same—she obviously looked a little older and she wasn’t a girl anymore—but that face? He’d know it anywhere. Her hair was longer but still had those curls he used to love to wrap his fingers in, and she still wore her glasses. That last one made him smile because he used to love to take them off of her before kissing her.

  Ugh…I’m in trouble…

  Why would she come to see him after all this time? What could she possibly have to say? Or, more importantly, what did she expect him to say?

  Bracing his hands on his hips, he let out a long breath because he knew exactly what he wanted to say.

  You look beautiful.

  You broke my heart.

  I’ve missed you.

  Yeah, he wasn’t actually going to say any of those things. Seventeen years ago, he would have killed for this opportunity, but now? What was the point?

  Whipping off his towel, he quickly donned his briefs and jeans. Next, he reached for his phone and typed out a quick text to the woman he was supposed to meet for drinks later. Once that was done, he pulled on his shirt, socks, and shoes.

  And then…he sat.

  There were benches by the lockers and he quietly sat, raking a hand through his damp hair, and wondered how long he could stall before facing Maddie again. Five minutes? Ten? Seventeen years?

  That last one wasn’t a possibility, and he didn’t want it to be, but he still wasn’t sure he was ready for whatever it was she was here to talk to him about. Was she here to apologize? Ask his forgiveness? Was she going to tell him they were still married or…or that she had their baby and…?

  Oh, shit…

  He was instantly on his feet and quickly grabbed his keys and phone before sprinting back to where Maddie was sitting. She looked up at him—her jade green eyes wide with confusion—and Knox had no idea how to ask all the crazy things racing through his mind.

  “Knox?” she asked slowly as she stood up.

  He was sweating and his heart was pounding way too hard, but he forced himself to speak. “Are you here because we’re still married?”

  Her eyes went comically wide now. “What?! No! Why…?”

  “Were you pregnant…you know…back then? Did you have a baby and…?”

  “Oh my God! No!” She let out a sound that was part distress and part sob as she paced away from him. The next time she looked at him, she was practically in tears. “Do you honestly think I would wait all this time to tell you either of those things?”

  “That’s just it, Maddie, I don’t know what to think!” he yelled, his voice echoing in the space and that’s when he knew this wasn’t the place for this conversation. Unfortunately, neither was his office. His hand scrubbed along the back of his neck as he tried to think of a place that would be appropriate and wouldn’t have an audience.

  “Knox, I know it’s been a long time, but…”

  “No,” he interrupted. “I don’t want to do this here. Hell, I can’t believe no one's come in here yet.”

  Maddie glanced over her shoulder at the door and back to him. “I thought we were going to talk in your office.”

  He shook his head. “I think we’ll still be interrupted.” Pausing, he considered their options. “Where are you staying?”

  “Staying?”

  “Yeah, staying,” he repeated. “Or do you live in North Carolina now?”

  She shook her head. “No, I’m out near Chesapeake now. It’s only a three-hour drive, so…”

  So she was just planning on coming here and talking and leaving.

  Knox had no idea how he felt about that, but…

  “I wasn’t sure if I’d find you today so I planned on staying until tomorrow. I booked a hotel near North Hills, I think. The map said it was only fifteen minutes from here, but I haven’t checked in yet.”

  “Okay, um…we can go there and talk or we can go to my place. It’s only a few minutes away and not far from your hotel, so…”

  She chewed on her bottom lip and he could read the indecision there. Neither were great options. One had them still surrounded by people because he was sure she’d want to talk down in the lounge or something, and the other had them completely alone.

  He knew which one he was opting for and he wasn’t proud of it.

  “I think…”

  “We should go to my place,” he finished for her. “We won’t be disturbed and we can talk or yell or just be free to say what we want to say without an audience.” Then he waited for her to disagree with him, but she didn’t.

  All she did was nod.

  And so did he. “Good. Okay,” he said, suddenly unsure of…everything. “Um…let me give you my address so you can put it in your GPS or you can just follow me or…”

  “I’ll do both. I mean…I’ll follow you, but still put your address in just in case we get separated.”

  As soon as she said the words, their eyes met. Even though they weren’t talking about their past, it just seemed like that statement resonated with them both.

  Knox rattled off his address and then motioned for them to leave the locker room. His hand hovered near her lower back without touching her, but as soon as they walked out to the gym, they came face to face with one of his partners.

  Shit.

  Daniel Alexander was one of his best friends, but by the amused look on his face, Knox knew he wasn’t going to be able to simply walk by with a smile and a wave.

  “Hey,” Daniel said, his smile brightening at Maddie before looking at him. “We were all wondering where you went.”

  “Uh, yeah. I went to go change and…”

  “Leaving already?” Daniel asked and then turned his attention to Maddie. “Hi. I’m Daniel. One of the owners of SEAL Security. And you are…?”

  Maddie leaned back slightly and Knox’s hand was right there waiting. “Maddie Christopher,” she said quietly before looking up at Knox like she wasn’t sure what else to say.

  And while she did, so did Daniel. Only…where Maddie’s was more of a panicked look, his friend’s face showed that he knew exactly who she was.

  “So, um…we’re heading out,” Knox said, his voice almost comically high-pitched before clearing his throat. “We’re heading out. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  Daniel nodded and stepped aside and there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that the second he and Maddie were out the door that everyone was going to know exactly who he was leaving with.

  And he knew there’d be a huge conversation waiting for him when he came to work in the morning.

  Out in the parking lot, they paused. “I’m over here,” he said, pointing to the large black pickup truck three spots away.

  “I’m the silver Kia SUV over there,” she replied, pointing to a few rows over. “I guess I’ll wait for you by the exit.”

  “Sounds good.” Neither moved and he realized his hand was still on her back. Clearing his throat again, he forced himself to move. “I’ll see you at my place.”

  Maddie walked away and Knox stayed where he was and watched her go as a sense of déjà vu hit him. The last time he watched her walk away, he was helpless. Of course, at the time, he had no idea it would take years to see her again.

  This time, however, it would only be minutes.

  Part of him prayed he’d survive her leaving him again—no matter what was said or how this all went.

  And as much as he knew this needed to happen, all he could do was question how smart it was to invite her back to his house knowing she had an overnight bag in her trunk.

  Chapter Two

  “The best thing you can do for someone is give them a chance.”

  UNKNOWN

  Oh, God…what am I doing?

  That was the question that played on Maddie’s mind for most of the ten-minute drive to Knox’s place.

  Twice she was tempted to simply turn around and go home. Every time she envisioned how this meeting would go, they were in his office or a coffee shop and it was all very cordial and over quickly. So far nothing had been cordial; it had been intimate and awkward and going to his house meant it wasn’t going to be quick either.

  “I should have sent a letter,” she muttered. “I could have sent it with one of those signatures required things to be sure he got it. But did I? No. Of course not. I had to go and be bold and do this in person.”

  Actually, she had wanted to go the letter route, but Dr. Marcia said that wasn’t going to cut it with a situation like this. History had proven that. Even though Maddie had apologized in all those letters she sent him years ago, it hadn’t been enough to assuage her guilt. The only way to make that happen was a face-to-face apology.

  “Having a conscience sucks.”

  They turned into a gated community and she was a little surprised. It wasn’t that she often thought about where Knox might live at this point in his life, but for some reason, she just figured he’d live in an apartment or some big complex. This was…nice. Really nice. It felt like a family-oriented community. They were all townhouses, and…they looked big. Too big for one person.

  Oh no…

  That’s when she realized they’d never even gotten to the point of her asking if he was married or even involved with someone.

  Groaning, the urge to flee was even stronger now. The last thing she wanted to do was have to confront his wife or girlfriend.

  “Don’t be an idiot. He wouldn’t have invited you here for a private conversation if he had either of those things,” she murmured. Still, as she pulled into the driveway beside him, she couldn’t help but wonder and she definitely wouldn’t be able to relax until she knew. So, after letting out a long breath, she climbed from her car and asked, “Should I have parked on the street? I don’t want to be taking someone’s spot.”

  There. That was a simple and polite question, right?

  But Knox walked over with a knowing grin. “If you wanted to know if I lived with anyone, you could have just asked.”

  Damn him. Was she that transparent?

  “Fine,” she said with a hint of defensiveness. “It just occurred to me that this could be even more awkward if we had this conversation with your wife or girlfriend around. Happy?”

  All he did was shrug and give her another smile. “If I were married, I would have mentioned that already, and I certainly wouldn’t have invited you here. We could have just stayed at my office.”

  “And we didn’t…why then?” They were walking up to the front door and he stopped so suddenly that she banged into him. “Oof!”

  Knox turned and steadied her. He’d gotten so tall that she had to really look up at him. His sunglasses were dark so she couldn’t see his eyes, but everything about him seemed to tense up. “I thought it would be better if we could talk without interruptions. We covered that already. But if you’re not comfortable with this…”

  “No! No,” she said, realizing she was being ridiculous. She had shown up unannounced after far too long, so really, she should just be thankful he was willing to speak with her at all. “Sorry. I’m just…I’m nervous.”

  He didn’t respond. He simply gave her a curt nod and turned to open the door. Maddie followed and was immediately struck by how un-Knox-like it all was.

  At least…the Knox she remembered.

  “Wow,” she said with a small smile. “This is all really, um…nice.”

  Chuckling, he tossed his keys on the entryway table as he kept walking. “Thanks. I just moved in about a month ago and bought it fully furnished.”

  Now that made more sense. The place was beautifully decorated, but not particularly masculine.

  She followed him into the kitchen where he offered her a bottle of water. “Thank you,” she said as she accepted it. Looking around, she tried to figure out why…

  “So you know Daniel—the guy you met on our way out?”

  She nodded.

  “This place used to belong to his wife, Josie. It was her place from before they met and they did live here together for a little while, but they recently moved to a bigger place. Josie’s pregnant and they wanted a house with a big yard and all that.” He took a sip of his water before continuing. “She decorated this place and everything in it looks like it was custom made for the space.” Then he laughed softly. “My lease was just about to end on my condo and I always liked this place, so it just made sense to make an offer on it.”

  “And she didn’t mind leaving the furniture behind?”

  “Not at all. They wanted to pick out stuff that they both liked and would work for the new house.” He glanced around with a smile. “So I lucked out.”

  “Is any of this yours? I mean…I’m sure you have furniture or personal items of your own that you wanted to keep.”

  He shrugged. “Not really. I spent fifteen years in the service and when I got out, I was used to living a more minimalist lifestyle.” Another shrug. “We were so busy getting the business started that I didn’t bother doing much with the condo. It was a rental and everything I had was there for function.”

  “That sounds so…” She stopped herself before saying anything that might offend him. But Knox being Knox, didn’t let it slide.

  “So…what?”

  “Sad,” she replied. “I can’t imagine not having at least a few items in my home that were strictly there for…for comfort or to make me smile.”

  “Yeah, well…” And that was all he said before, “Come on. We’ll sit in the living room.”

  With another nod, she followed. He was already sitting on the huge sectional and she wondered if she should sit or stand.

  And wondered.

  And wondered.

  “Uh, Maddie?” he asked.

  “Right,” she muttered and sat down on the opposite end of the sofa. But when she looked at him, all the words—everything she had rehearsed—escaped her. Suddenly she didn’t know why she was here or what she wanted to say because all she could see was the boy she had fallen in love with when she was fourteen years old, the one she loved enough to marry.

  Knox looked at her expectantly and the only thing she could do was look at him helplessly.

  He put his bottle of water down on the coffee table before leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “Okay, I can tell you’re on the verge of a panic attack, so why don’t we just take things slow,” he suggested. “Why don’t you tell me what you do for a living?”

  Her shoulders relaxed a bit as she nodded. “I’m a physical therapist. I specialize in sports medicine and sports-related injuries. I’ve got a practice back in Chesapeake.”

  “That’s awesome,” he said as he leaned back against the cushions. His smile was genuine as he added, “Good for you.”

  “Thanks. And you started up the security company?”

  He nodded. “It was something Daniel, Xander, and I talked about while we were still in the Navy. We sort of started to put things in motion the year before we all got out so we’d be able to hit the ground running once we were back.”

  “How did you end up in Raleigh?”

  “Daniel’s from here and talked about how much he liked the area and how he thought it was a good central location for the East Coast,” he explained. “I didn’t really care too much about where we set up. I just wanted to get started.”

  “Do you specialize in any one specific thing?”

  “Not really. We all had the same kind of training, but I guess if I had to pick something, I’d say that I’m the one who handles a lot of the background checks and anything computer-related. Turns out I’m good with technology and finding things other people can’t find.”

  She laughed softly. “You’re lucky. I mean about being good with technology. I think anything tech-related hates me. I have an assistant who literally has to handle everything with the computer and she even sits with me when I get a new phone to talk me through it.” She shook her head. “It’s like I need my own personal tech support. She’ll be thrilled to know that I was able to program your address into my GPS all by myself.”

  “Well, things are always changing and if it’s not something you have to deal with on a daily basis—or if you have someone to do it for you—then I imagine it would be hard to keep up with.” He stretched and rested his arms along the top of the sofa and Maddie had a feeling they were done with small talk.

  After shifting to get a little more comfortable, she let out a sigh. “I’m sorry.”

  One dark brow arched at her. “For being bad at technology?”

  And yeah, she knew he wasn’t going to make this easy on her and he was a bit of a smartass.

  “Knox…”

  “Okay, okay, okay…you’re right. This isn’t the time for jokes, so…go on.”

  “I’m sorry,” she repeated. “For everything.”

  The relaxed and easy-going man was gone in the blink of an eye as his expression turned mildly fierce. “You’re going to need to be more specific than that, Madalyn.”