All The Befores Read online

  Children, he thought with a small laugh. Sam and Mallory were both adults in healthy relationships and were both going to be married within a year. If anything, Colton thought the timing to propose was perfect. With the two of them settled, he thought Susannah would be ready for something for herself.

  Just another way he was sorely mistaken.

  Raking a hand through his graying hair, he let out a long breath. It was obvious he was clueless and maybe Susannah was right to turn him down. If he had no idea how she felt and had gotten so many things wrong, what the hell kind of husband could he possibly be?

  One that loved her completely.

  Clearly love wasn’t enough.

  Not in this particular situation.

  It was late and he was so tired – not that he thought he was going to get much sleep tonight. Thoughts of everything that transpired would undoubtedly haunt him. Still, he couldn’t stay sitting in this chair. Looking around the small space he called home, there were remnants of what should have been a celebration.

  Now they just mocked him.

  Rising, he let out another sigh. The first thing he did was walk over to his dining room table, pick up the ring box and lovingly place the diamond solitaire back inside. The sound of the box shutting was almost as loud as gunfire. Walking from the room, he placed the box in his bedside table, staring hard at it before slowly closing the drawer.

  That was one thing down.

  Walking back out to the living room, he felt overwhelmed but forced himself to keep moving. As he went, he blew out the dozens of candles he had lit to make the house seem more romantic.

  Lots of good that did for him.

  Next, he cleaned up the dinner dishes and cleaned the kitchen. Then he made sure the dining table was wiped down. For the most part, everything was now back in its place and it looked like it did before Susannah arrived earlier except for one thing…

  He had to figure out what to do with dozens of tulips.

  2

  “If you even think of eating that, I will punch you.”

  Sam Westbrook looked at his twin sister and frowned. “Mal, it is way too early for this. I came over like you asked and now you’re telling me I’m not allowed to eat any of the donuts I bought? What the hell?”

  Rolling her eyes, Mallory moved the box of pastries out of his reach. “You need to keep your voice down. Mom’s still sleeping.”

  Slouching slightly in his seat at the kitchen table, Sam asked, “What’s going on? You didn’t say much in your text last night.”

  “I don’t know much,” she began and then punched her brother in the arm when he started to snicker. “Grow up.”

  Sighing dramatically, he straightened. “Okay, what do you know?”

  “Colton proposed and she turned him down,” she said sadly. “I don’t get it. They’ve been inseparable and I know she’s crazy about him…”

  “There’s a difference between being crazy about someone and wanting to marry them,” he countered. “Although, I have to admit, I really thought she would have said yes.”

  “Exactly. They were always so happy whenever we saw them together. And when Colton told us his plan to propose, it seemed like a no-brainer. How could Mom turn it down? I mean, I don’t know what went wrong!”

  “Well what did she say when you guys talked last night?”

  “That’s just it. She didn’t want to talk. She said she wasn’t ready and I stayed because I couldn’t stand the thought of her being alone.” She paused. “Honestly, I thought she would have caved at some point and started to talk about it, but she never did.”

  He looked at her like she was crazy. “So what did the two of you do? Just sit around and stare at each other?”

  Rolling her eyes, Mallory explained, “We watched a couple of her favorite movies. It seemed to help.”

  “Oh, God…Dirty Dancing?” he asked with a small laugh.

  She nodded. “Followed by The Princess Bride.”

  “Ugh…better you than me.” He paused. “I’d say she’s a private person, but once she started dating Colt, she seemed to open up more. You have no idea how many nights I came home here and had uncomfortable conversations with her about their relationship.” He shuddered. “It was beyond awkward. And that’s not counting the mornings I found them half dressed in here making breakfast.”

  “Oh, stop. You’re an adult. Deal with it.”

  “Easy for you to say. You weren’t the one begging Mom to put on some pants,” he said.

  “Okay, this is getting us nowhere…”

  “Look, until we know why she turned him down, everything is just speculation. And if she’s upset, the last thing we should be doing is pushing her to talk.”

  “How can you say that? If we don’t get her to talk, we can’t make her feel better or possibly convince her she made a mistake!”

  Sam simply stared at her before yawning loudly.

  “Okay, fine. So where does that leave us?” Mallory demanded, feeling more than a little annoyed with her brother’s take on the situation.

  “We wait for her to get up and take our cues from there. In the meantime, we have a couple of donuts and maybe a cup of coffee.”

  “For the love of it, could you please focus on something other than your stomach!” Shoving the box of donuts at him, she snapped, “You know what? Here. Go ahead! Eat! Be selfish! See if I care!”

  With an easy grin, he opened the box. “Don’t mind if I do!”

  “There better be one of Mrs. Henderson’s apple crullers in that box for me,” Susannah said as she walked into the room. She yawned broadly and squinted against the bright sunlight streaming into the kitchen. It had been a long time since she’d walked in and found both her children sitting at the breakfast table, and it made her smile.

  “There are two,” Sam confirmed.

  Mallory jumped to her feet. “Why don’t you sit, Mom, and I’ll make us all some coffee, okay?”

  Nodding, Susannah shuffled toward the table and kissed Sam on the head before taking her seat. “I’d ask what you’re doing here so early, but I’m pretty sure I already know the answer.”

  “Mom…” Mallory started.

  “We’re just worried about you,” Sam said. “I wanted to see for myself that you were okay and see if there was anything I can do.”

  It was too early to start crying again and rather than risk it, she reached into the pastry box and pulled out a cruller and took a bite. From the corner of her eye she saw her son’s knowing smirk.

  They sat in silence for several minutes until Mallory walked back over with coffee for all of them. Once she sat, Susannah knew she needed to say something; otherwise they’d sit here and stare at her with worry.

  Taking a sip of her coffee, she let out a satisfied moan. When she looked up, they were both watching her warily. “Okay, look, I get it. You’re both concerned and I love you for it. However, I’m just not sure what I’m supposed to say here.”

  The twins exchanged looks and Sam spoke first. “We thought you and Colt were happy together.”

  She nodded and cradled the coffee mug in her hands. “We were.”

  “You’ve never mentioned having a fight,” Mallory commented.

  “We never did.”

  “Then what’s this about, Mom?” Sam asked gently. “Because from where we’re sitting, you should be celebrating right now.”

  Shifting slightly in her seat, Susannah took a minute to collect her thoughts. “I guess…I mean, I never thought…it’s just…” Her eyes welled with tears and her voice cracked.

  Sam reached over and took one of her hands in his. “If you’re not ready to talk about this, it’s okay.”

  But she waved him off. “No, the sooner we all talk about it, the sooner I can move on.”

  “Is that what you want to do?” Mallory asked. “Move on?”

  Nodding, Susannah wiped away some stray tears. “I never planned on getting married again,” she said firmly, staring down at the tab
le. “It wasn’t something I wanted to do or something I even thought about. I was happy to be dating Colton but that’s all I thought we were doing. I had no idea he wanted more.”

  “O-kay, but…is that really so bad?” Mallory asked carefully. “Just because you never planned on getting married again doesn’t mean you can’t think about it now. Did he refuse to give you time to think about it?”

  Susannah shook her head.

  “Then…”

  But Sam interrupted her. “Mom, I get why you never thought about getting married again – I do. Dad was the worst and it left you with a bad taste in your mouth about marriage. On top of that, you were too busy raising us to think about it. But now…I mean, maybe you do need to think about it. Colton’s a great guy – and believe me, it hurts to say that because I didn’t want to like him.”

  She knew he was trying to make light of the situation, but if anything, it made her feel worse. Colton was a really great guy. He had shown her that not all men were mean and careless – that some men could be trusted and loving. He was everything she never knew existed and he made her feel things she didn’t know she could feel.

  And yet, here we are…

  “I know you struggled in the beginning, sweetheart, and it meant a lot when you accepted our relationship and developed a friendship with Colton. It meant a lot to him, too.”

  “So I can understand you not being keen on marriage because of Dad,” Mallory went on, “but that situation had nothing to do with you. That was all him, Mom. You know that, right? Dad was the reason your marriage failed. Not you.”

  “It takes two people to make a marriage work,” Susannah said, her voice trembling slightly. “And it takes two people for it to fail. I’m not blameless in what went wrong.”

  “Yes, you are,” Sam said defiantly. “You did everything for all of us! You did everything for Dad – you were a great wife and a great mother and he didn’t appreciate any of it. Do not for even one minute try to take the blame for what happened.”

  She loved how he jumped to her defense – he always had. She squeezed his hand and forced herself to look up and smile at him. “You were so young when your father left and you don’t know everything that happened.”

  “But…”

  “Believe me, I’m putting a solid ninety-five percent of the blame on your father, but I wasn’t perfect either.”

  “I don’t buy that,” Mallory said, taking Susannah’s other hand in hers.

  “Guys…”

  “So if it’s just the fact that you’re not ready to get married, then why did you break up?” Sam asked.

  “How do you know we broke up?”

  The look he gave her said, “Really?”

  “Okay, fine. We broke up.” She sighed. “I didn’t think it was fair to him to stay in a relationship when we both want different things.”

  They all sat in silence for several minutes, each lost in their own thoughts, sipping their coffee and eating donuts. It was nice. It was comfortable.

  “If your marriage to Dad had ended differently – like with him not taking off and being a selfish jerk,” Mallory began, “do you think you’d still look at being married the same way?”

  She shrugged. “Who can say?”

  “C’mon, Mom. It sounds to me like you’re still letting Dad influence you and that’s not right,” Sam commented. “And if that’s all this is about…”

  “It’s not…”

  Both kids groaned.

  “So what happens now?” Mallory asked.

  Susannah took another long sip of her coffee before responding. “Well, honestly, I have a lot on my plate. The inn has its first guests next week, Christmas is three weeks away, we still have to work on your wedding plans,” she said, looking at Mallory. “You know you really need to get serious about this. You’ve been procrastinating on setting a date, but once the inn is open for booking full-time after the first of the year, we may have a hard time finding a date for you to have the wedding here.”

  “Yeah, I know…”

  “Please tell me you’re not procrastinating because you have issues with marriage too,” Sam grumbled.

  “What?! That’s ridiculous!” Mallory cried. “Why would you even think that?”

  He looked between her and their mother and then back again. “Um…pot? Meet kettle.”

  “That’s not even remotely the case,” Mallory argued.

  “Really? Then why haven’t you set a date? Seems to me you’ve been wanting to marry Jake since you were eighteen. And now that he’s asked and you accepted, you’re in no rush to actually do it!”

  Mallory frowned. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Sam. I don’t see you rushing to put a ring on Shelby’s finger.”

  “Are you kidding me?” he said with a laugh. “If it were up to me, we’d be married already!”

  “Seriously?”

  He nodded. “It was going to be a surprise, but…I’ve got the ring and I plan on proposing on Christmas Eve.”

  “Maybe she won’t say yes,” Mallory said tartly, giving him a smirk as she picked up her coffee.

  “Mallory!” Susannah cried. “That is a terrible thing to say!”

  “And in really bad taste considering the current circumstances,” Sam added and seemed pleased when his sister paled. Clearing his throat, he sat up a little taller, and definitely looked smug.

  “Okay, this is getting us nowhere,” Susannah declared, standing up. “You’ll set the date when you’re ready and, in the meantime, I have the inn to keep me busy.” She turned to put her coffee cup in the sink when Mallory called out to her. “Hmm?”

  “Just answer one more thing and I promise to let this go.”

  Somehow she doubted it, but she nodded anyway.

  “Do you love him?”

  Colton’s face instantly sprang to mind and her heart squeezed tight. Tears stung her eyes and all she could do was nod again.

  “Oh, Mom…” In the blink of an eye, both Sam and Mallory were on their feet and hugging her. She simply stood there and let them and considered herself the luckiest mother in the world to have two such caring children. After a few minutes, she excused herself to go take a shower.

  Once Mallory heard the door to the family wing close, she turned to Sam. “You know we have to do something, right?”

  “Mal, what are we supposed to do? She seems pretty set on moving on.”

  “Did she?”

  He frowned. “Um…”

  “There were a lot of flimsy excuses in there but at the end, she admitted that she loved Colton. There’s still hope!”

  “It’s really not our place…”

  She punched him in the arm. “Just…leave it to me. I’m going to go home and talk to Jake. Considering Colton works for him, I’m sure he can get some insight into how he feels about the breakup.”

  “How do you think he feels, Mal? He proposed and got turned down. I can pretty much guarantee he’s not feeling great.”

  “Don’t be so snarky,” she snapped. “I think we give them both today to let things sink in and then Monday Jake will talk to him.” She paused. “Or…”

  “Oh, no,” Sam said, taking a step back. “I am not going to be the one to go talk to Colt. Nuh-uh. No way.”

  “Come on, Sam! Don’t you care that Mom’s hurting?”

  “Of course I care! I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t!”

  “Then won’t you please…”

  He held up a hand to stop her. “If I do it, it will be when I want and how I want. You are not going to dictate it to me. Deal?”

  She smiled sweetly up at him. “Deal.”

  “Jake? What are you doing here?”

  It was a stupid question. Colton knew exactly why his boss and friend was here.

  He was just embarrassed that he felt the need to come check on him.

  Jake Summerford stood on Colton’s front porch looking a little uncomfortable even as he offered a small smile. “Mind if I come in?”
r />   Stepping aside, Colton motioned for him to step inside and once they were in, he offered Jake something to drink.

  “Thanks, but I’m good,” Jake said, taking a seat. Once Colton was seated on the sofa opposite him, Jake gave him another small smile. “You doing okay?”

  Why lie?

  “No,” he said glumly. “Not really.”

  Jake nodded. “Mallory told me what happened. I mean, not everything, just…well…that you proposed and…”

  “And Susannah turned me down and broke up with me.” He paused. “Yeah.”

  Leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees, Jake let out a long breath. “I’ll be honest with you, Colt. I’m not even sure what to say.”

  “I’m still a little dumbfounded myself.”

  “If you need some time off or…anything,” Jake offered, “just say the word. I know this can’t be easy for you.”

  “Thanks.” He paused and knew what he needed to ask if he was going to have any peace. “How is she?”

  “I didn’t see or talk to her. Mallory stayed over at the house last night and Sam was over with them this morning.”

  “They’re good kids,” he said solemnly. “They mean the world to Susannah.”

  “And she means the world to them,” Jake replied. “For what it’s worth, Colt, Mallory said Susannah’s hurting too. You have to know the decision wasn’t easy for her.”

  All he could do was nod.

  “You know she didn’t have a great marriage…”

  “It was over twenty years ago,” he argued, but there was no heat behind his words. “She’s an amazing woman who has overcome so much and she has this amazing future in front of her with the inn, then you and Mallory getting married, and I’m sure Sam’s not far behind. I don’t get why she keeps looking back at something that clearly only made her stronger.”