The Bridal Squad Page 27

  But Julianne didn’t respond to her because her focus was still on Kayla. “Since when are you interested in archaeology?”

  The shocked look on Kayla’s face proved it wasn’t quite the question she was expecting. “Um…”

  “Why do you want to take this assignment?” she asked before Kayla could respond to her previous question.

  “It’s…it’s a great opportunity,” Kayla replied.

  “Why? What makes it so great?”

  Now Kayla was annoyed. Julianne could see it and she welcomed it. “You’re just getting on my case because if I go, I won’t be here for your wedding,” she said smugly. “So you’re not really the right person for this kind of interrogation.”

  “Maybe but…now I want to know,” Harper said. “You tend to do action pieces – floods, volcanoes, bizarre weather stuff…why would you want to go and watch people dig? Archaeology digs are slow and tedious. That is the complete opposite of how you like anything…not just your work.”

  For a minute, Kayla was speechless. Then she picked up her coffee and shrugged and tried to sound casual. “You’re not really the most objective person for this either. After all, you’re the bride’s sister.”

  “Then I think I should weigh in,” Natalie said. “After all, you and I haven’t always been close and you moving to another country would benefit me greatly.”

  Julianne almost choked on her omelet.

  “Excuse me?” Kayla said with disbelief. “You’re living in my apartment! How are we not close?”

  With an exasperated huff, Natalie leaned forward and looked at Kayla. “We both know you only offered it because you thought it was going to be a short-term thing. When you were faced with having to actually live in the same space as me, suddenly you were able to overcome your fear of…everything...and move in with Adam! You think I didn’t notice that?”

  “It had nothing to do with you…sort of,” Kayla murmured and when Natalie continued to stare at her, she threw up her hands in frustration. “Okay, fine! Yes! The thought of you and I sharing an apartment annoyed me, but not for the reason you think.”

  “Right. Sure,” Natalie said as she picked up her fork and stabbed it into her breakfast.

  “I hated the thought of you having to sleep on the couch,” Kayla argued. “It made me sad, okay? There you were, a grown woman in crisis and all of a sudden you were this sad person who was relegated to sleeping on my couch. I felt bad. There, happy now?”

  Natalie delicately wiped her mouth with her napkin and looked at Kayla. “So you’re saying you were concerned for my well-being?”

  With a heavy sigh, Kayla nodded. “I was.”

  “You could have shared the bed or drawn straws to see who got the bed on odd-numbered nights,” Julianne commented.

  “Or you could have spooned with her,” Harper said with a tsking sound. “The poor girl wasn’t getting any action; the least you could have done was offered a friendly snuggle.”

  “Are we done now?” Kayla deadpanned. “Because this is all just ridiculous.”

  “Fine. Whatever…”

  “Okay, then.” With a pause, Natalie looked at Julianne and then Harper before picking up her coffee and focusing on Kayla again. “Personally, I think you’re considering this job because it’s what you do.”

  “You mean take pictures?”

  She shook her head. “No. You run away. I think you chose a career that you love and it allowed you to keep distance between you and everyone. It allowed you the perfect excuse for whenever you didn’t want to deal with something. And now that you’re living with Adam and – just as Julianne pointed out to me a few minutes ago – things are starting to settle in and the transition period is maybe coming to an end, you’re ready to bolt.”

  “Why would I want to bolt?” Kayla asked, her tone clearly defensive.

  “Because now you have to work at this relationship,” Natalie said and then looked at Julianne. “You’re right, you know. For the first few years Jayce and I were dating, it was fun and exciting and it was like every day there was something to look forward to. Then we got engaged, and we had a wedding to plan and a future to plan and it was even more fun and exciting.” She sighed. “Then reality set in. There weren’t any big plans to be made. It was laundry and bills and just the everyday stuff and I kept trying to find something to make it…”

  “Fun and exciting?” Julianne supplied.

  “Yup.”

  They all went silent and got lost in their own thoughts. Breakfast was eaten, coffee was refreshed, plates were cleared away.

  It hadn’t been her intention to come here and drop a reality bomb on them, but Julianne couldn’t be sorry that she’d done it. They all needed it…except…

  “Somebody tell me my thing,” she said, feeling almost desperate. Here she was telling everyone what their problem was and kicking ass while doing it and right now, Julianne knew she needed her own ass kicked.

  Harper looked at her and grinned.

  “Too easy,” Julianne said, reading her sister’s mind.

  “Still,” Harper challenged, “who better than me to tell you what your…thing is.”

  Sitting up straighter, Julianne took a huge sip of her coffee and braced herself. “Lay it on me.”

  “You’re a huge fucking control freak,” she stated.

  “Oh God, yes,” Natalie and Kayla said in agreement.

  Julianne didn’t take offense to it. She’d been saying it about herself for years so it wasn’t anything new. “Old news, Harps. What else ya got?”

  “I’m just warming up,” Harper said with a sly grin. “You wanted to control the entire wedding process, but that’s not how it works. You want the big wedding, but on your terms. We get it. But you’re a people pleaser too. So you were trying to make everyone happy. Unfortunately, everyone wasn’t falling in line according to your own way of thinking and so you got pissy. So you kickboxed and you tried to reason it out, but here’s the thing…you can kick and punch that bag until you lose a limb and it’s not going to change the fact that you did everything but speak the hell up!”

  Okay…that was new…

  “In your mind, you think by pleasing everyone, you are going to somehow manipulate them into bending to your will and they won’t! I know I won’t! Why? Because we all want our own way, Jules. So you can kick the bag, you can teach a thousand Zumba classes and you can pull the plug on your own wedding. And you know the only one who still isn’t happy? You.”

  “That’s not totally true,” Julianne argued lamely.

  “Oh yeah? Let me ask you something…have you canceled your gown?”

  “Well…no.”

  “Did you cancel the venue?”

  “Not yet. I was going to see Hailey today.”

  “Really? Today?”

  “Uh-huh. I was. I planned to go there after class.”

  “And yet…here you are. Stealing bacon and kicking people when they’re down,” Harper said with smug satisfaction.

  “I was curious as to why you all left this morning!”

  “Could have texted or called on your way to the bridal shop,” Kayla chimed in.

  “I couldn’t have gotten all of you on the phone at once,” Julianne countered. “And I knew you’d all be together and…”

  “And you wanted to come here and try to control the guilt-trip – by making us all have to face you at the same time – instead of going and dealing with something that you truly don’t want to do.”

  Her throat tightened, but she forced herself to speak. “I do want to elope…”

  “Do you? Because in your entire life, I’ve never once heard you say that,” Harper said, her voice gentler, more understanding. “Jules, I think getting married on the beach somewhere would be amazing and exciting and wonderful. But I think you’re clinging to that idea because you hate having to let other people tell you or guide you through this wedding planning process. You think you’re the first bride to threaten to elope?”
r />   “No. But…”

  “I’m going to ask you a couple of questions, and I want you to say the first thing that comes to your mind,” Kayla interjected.

  “Really?” Julianne asked sarcastically. “You’re seriously going to do this?”

  Kayla nodded and gave her a knowing smile.

  “Fine,” Julianne huffed. “Bring it.”

  “Do you really want to marry Gavin?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you love the gown you ordered?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you going to give Harper the three slices of bacon you owe her?”

  “No.”

  “Can I wear sneakers to your wedding?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you think my ass looks fat in my red yoga pants?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you want to elope?”

  “No.”

  There was a collective gasp and then sigh around the table.

  “Well, shit,” Julianne murmured. “That wasn’t what I thought I’d say at all!”

  Kayla looked at her and then grabbed a slice of bacon and handed it to Harper. “And you, my dear Julianne, do say what you’re thinking. Your first thought is always what you’re thinking. You and I are very different that way and I know that about you. So if you just said that you don’t want to elope, then you can be damn sure that you don’t want to.”

  “But…but…”

  “Oh no,” Harper jumped in. “No excuses. No sympathy. We just did to you what you did to us. So deal with it.”

  “But all the wedding stuff,” Julianne argued, “it’s not going to go away!” She looked at Harper pleadingly. “And that should worry you as much as it worries me because that means Mom is going to be Mom and start poking at you again.”

  Harper shrugged. “You know what? Since our little confrontation at your house, I think I can handle it. She knows she’s wrong; everyone knows she was wrong so…let her talk. The only one who looks bad now is her.”

  “Wow…look at you being all mature,” Kayla said with a small round of applause. “I’m impressed.”

  Harper shrugged. “I’m never going to completely change her mind about how she sees me and honestly, I have to let it go. Is she still going to piss me off? Yes. Is she still going to make snide comments that make me feel like a child who wants to run away and hide? Yes. Am I going to let that define me and rule my life? No. I can’t. And I think it took seeing her just being so…delusional in front of so many people for me to really see that she almost can’t even help it.”

  “Oh, I know it,” Natalie said. “That day at the gym was a real eye-opener.” Her hand quickly flew over her mouth before she said, “Sorry. Oh, God. So sorry. That was completely insensitive of me.”

  “This is what I’m talking about!” Julianne cried. “We need to stop being so damn sensitive about being insensitive!” Then she paused. “Not that I’m saying we need to be ripping one another apart, but can we all just agree that we are looking out for one another and sometimes that means saying things that are uncomfortable and…insensitive?”

  And while they all nodded, it still left a whole lot of unanswered questions for Julianne. So they were all aware of each other again and the need to speak up. And everyone seemed to see that not all criticism was bad but…none of them had a wedding hanging in the balance.

  Panic had her by the throat. “Now what? How am I supposed to go home and tell Gavin I’ve changed my mind? Again?”

  “The same way I’m supposed to go and find Brady and tell him that I know I’m not with him for his money and that I overreacted and hope he doesn’t think I’m completely crazy,” Harper said.

  “The same way I’m supposed to go talk to Adam about why I was considering taking a job with an archaeology magazine that I didn’t really want,” Kayla said.

  “And the same way I’m supposed to cancel lunch with my mother-in-law so I can go and talk to my husband,” Natalie finished.

  “Check, please!” Julianne called out.

  Sixteen

  “I’m sorry.”

  For a minute, Adam stood and stared at her as if she’d spoken to him in Greek. Without a word, he turned away and sat at the breakfast bar. Kayla waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. He just kept watching her.

  “I turned them down,” she said quickly.

  “But you considered it,” he said for clarification.

  “I did.” Nodding, she went on. “My immediate response was yes. I thought it would be something fun and exciting and a great experience.”

  “And now you don’t?”

  She shook her head. “And now I don’t.” Letting out a slow breath, she willed herself to calm down. This was all still so new to her – talking about her feelings so openly, so honestly. “I could have kept it from you and not said anything, but I don’t want that for us anymore. I know now that we need to – well, I need to – be more open about this sort of thing. And when I stopped and thought about it, I knew I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to be away for nine months.”

  “I thought you said it was only eight?” he asked, frowning.

  “There was a training time,” she said, feeling stupid for leaving that part out. “And it’s not just because it’s a long time to be away…”

  “You’d miss Julianne’s wedding.”

  “I know. But that’s not why, Adam. I would have hated to miss her wedding, but if it were the only thing holding me back, I still would have gone.”

  “Would you?”

  She nodded and she wasn’t proud of that admission.

  “Julianne’s your best friend,” he pointed out.

  “I know. And I think you know me well enough by now to know that my work normally comes first. And Julianne would have been disappointed – probably more than a little pissed off – but she would have forgiven me eventually.”

  “True.”

  “But you?” she began and had to fight the urge to walk around the counter and touch him. “I don’t want to be away from you for that long. The thought of not seeing you or being here with you was more than I could bear.”

  His expression remained neutral.

  It hit her why he wasn’t saying much – he was waiting her out. Making her talk about this and share her feelings with him – something he’d been wanting from her for a long time. So she’d do it. She’d talk. Hell, she’d keep talking as long as he wanted her to because this was that important.

  “Being with you? That always felt right, Adam. I may not have looked at it in a traditional way – a romantic way – but I always knew that what we had worked. We fit.”

  Other than a small nod, he was quiet.

  “Moving in with you? It terrified me. Like panic-attack-inducing kind of fear. And yet…here we are. It was a little awkward and it took some getting used to, but that’s how it is for any couple, right?” She didn’t wait for him to respond. “And I like who we are and I like where this is going and…I know if I let my fear rule me and ruin this, I’d be throwing away the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

  That was it.

  She’d said it all.

  Although…she had no idea what the point of it was. She didn’t take the job so she wasn’t going anywhere and nothing was changing. So why was she doing this again?

  Adam slowly came to his feet and walked around the counter to her. Afraid to move, she waited him out. Toe to toe, he wrapped his arms around her waist and looked down at her and she could see so much in his eyes. Gone was the neutral expression and in its place were a million words and feelings.

  “Kayla Shaw, you never cease to amaze me,” he said softly.

  That really could be taken two ways, she thought.

  “I never wanted to be the guy you sacrificed for. That’s not who I am,” he began. “All I want is to know that I’m important to you and a part of your life.” He reached up and caressed her cheek. “For so long now, I felt like I was doing everything but pu
tting up a neon sign to let you know how I felt and you never seemed to notice.”

  “I know,” she said quietly. “And I’m so sorry.”

  He shook his head. “Don’t apologize, Kayla. It’s just who you are – and I don’t mean that in a bad way. The person you are is the person who is very attractive to me. You were someone I wanted to know more. And then…you were someone I wanted to spend time with.”

  Her heart was going to beat right out of her chest. “And now?” she whispered. His smile – so soft and sweet and patient – gave her hope.

  “And now, you’re someone I love.”

  She couldn’t breathe.

  Like seriously…everything stopped.

  Only…it didn’t. The room began to tilt and spin and her stomach was ready to rebel at it all.

  “Kayla? Are you all right?” Adam asked when she swayed and tried to take a step away. Quickly, he led her over to the sofa and sat her down before going to grab a glass of water. He was back in a flash and on his knees in front of her. “C’mon, drink.”

  She did and it took a minute, but she started to feel better – less dizzy. Less nauseous. Swallowing hard, she took a deep breath and then let it out. “Say it again,” she said.

  “Drink?”

  She shook her head. “Before that.”

  “Are you all right?”

  Now she gave him a bland look and had to fight the urge to smile when his lips began to twitch. “I love you,” he said, softly. Wonderfully. “I love you, Kayla Shaw.”

  Wow, she thought. Those were the greatest words she’d ever heard.

  “And I want you to know, I’m not saying that for any reason other than the fact that it’s the truth. I like who we are, too. And I really like where we are,” he went on. “But I know how much your work means to you and if this trip – this dig – is something you want to do, then I want you to go.”

  “Adam…”

  He shook his head. “I will be here when you get back. I’ll always be here for you, Kayla. Don’t you know that?”

  She gave him a small smirk. “That wasn’t what you said not so long ago.”

  Laughing softly, he placed a kiss on the tip of her nose. “A moment of weakness and frustration, but it worked. It opened both of our eyes and got us to where we are right now.”